He duped me.
My Sister had warned me.
She spent a lot of time on the phone running through the different scenarios that Banana Man had tried on her. Some worked, some didn’t and none of them worked a second time.
He likes a banana for breakfast. I’ve only been able to find yellow ones this week, no green ones.
My Hubby was working under the Cobra, changing the ‘throw out bearing’ and I’d asked him if he’d wanted anything.
“Just a coffee.”
AKA, a Starbucks coffee, so it’s off to our local store.
Banana Man responds to the jingle of the car keys; “Are you going out?” He askes.
I wait as he shuffles over to swap his slippers for his outside shoes.
I wait as he makes his way to the car.
I wait as he works to get into the car and buckle up.
We’re off for coffee.
“Is the coffee shop near the grocery store?” Banana Man starts the ball rolling on his plan.
“Yeah.” I don’t see this coming.
“Can you drop me off while you get the coffee?”
“Sure.” I still don’t see it coming. “What do you want?”
Sigh. Really, I have not been able to find green bananas in four days, he was going through withdrawal, and I felt bad. “Fine. Just make sure they’re green. I’ll check the bag when I pick you up.” I thought I was smart adding this condition.
I flip the hazard lights on as I pull as close to the grocery store door as possible. He gets out, slowly; the other cars go around me.
Picking up the coffee is quick and I’m back. He’s at the curb waiting. The hazard lights blink as I wait for him to get back in and buckle up.
“They look yellow.” I accuse.
“Green.” And to prove it he gathers the bag, opens it and shows me the yellow bananas with just a touch of green. “The greenest one’s I could find.”
“Is that a doughnut!?” Stupid, stupid me.
I didn’t see it coming and I never got it away from him; it’s in his belly now spiking his blood glucose to new levels.