Not everyone – just Banana-man.
It seems to be a point of pride on his side, a point of foolishness on mine. I simply can no longer talk to him over the phone. He can not hear what I say, he replies, quite happily to what he thinks I may have said.
“Hey, I called to ask for your help with the garage door, it won’t open.” I say.
“No, I haven’t run a garage since the 90’s, but it was a great business to be in. Why, you thinking of opening a Garage? You couldn’t do it, but Car-man, he could.” Banana-man replies.
So, I yell into the phone, “THE DOOR OPENER IS GRINDING.”
Banana-man launches into a detailed monologue of the weather; past, current, and future.
I sigh and give up, he chats, I make noises, he doesn’t seem to notice.
Eventually, all chatted out he say’s “Bye! It was great talking with you!”
I reply, “Yeah, WHEN ARE YOU GETTING HEARING AIDS?”
“Sure, I’ll call you on the weekend!” Banana-man hangs up, happy in la-la-land, content that we’ve ‘shared’ some meaningful time.